From Tough Conversations to have

For You

Today you found out you were laid off from work.  Beyond the shock, you felt dejected and angry.  Angry that they chose you, angry that you hadn’t left on your terms, and shocked that after all those years of service – you were the one they picked.   Your upbringing has made you want predictability, dislike taking risks, and like the routine this job gave you.  When the confusion of what happened clears your head, think about the following:  Yes, you were the one they chose.  But what if by choosing you they did for you what you couldn’t do for yourself?  Give you the freedom to do something completely different in life, reinvent yourself, re-ignite and chase old dreams.  What if by choosing you they liberated you from the fear that holds you back from taking risks, embracing uncertainty and new routines in life?  There should be no question in your mind that you will succeed at whatever you put your mind to.

You are an intelligent, passionate, loving, caring, compassionate human being with all the attributes that define success.  You have the IT factor, the right stuff.  The stuff that separates smart people from highly successful people.  So, go for it.  Take the time to explore what else, what if.  You will be tempted to jump right back in, to go back to the routine of what you know.  If you do, do so only after you have tested new waters, the uncharted ones, the ones you’ve dreamed about.  Don’t live to regret the things you didn’t dare to do.  Life is full of ups and downs, the mundane and the extraordinary.  Be grateful for it all.  Because even in the lows of life, there are precious lessons we are left with.  Someday you will look back at today as a defining moment.  The day you faced your greatest fear and you learned that happiness isn’t defined by how much money you make. It’s defined by how you chose to live your life.   Whatever you do – choose wisely.

5 Things to Remember When You Think It’s Time to Leave your Job

1. Take the time to truly assess your job situation. Be certain that you are doing it for the right reasons. How you leave an organization is as important as when you entered it. Stay engaged until you’ve left.

2. Talk it over with someone you trust. Leaving a job is an important decision.

3. Once you’ve done the above, take the opportunity to do your homework. In the ideal world, find another job that gives you a promotion or a growth opportunity.

4. Consult your family and assess your personal situation. If you have to move, make sure they are comfortable with where you want to go. This is will affect them too.

5. If possible, use a professional or a head hunter to help vet opportunities. If you must contact others to help you, make sure they keep your decision confidential.

Dear July Part 3: Life Lessons Learned This Month

Don’t Blink.

Do you remember the last time someone pushed your buttons and you lost it?  Most people do.  You remember where you were and what you were doing.  Recalling that has to do with a short circuit track in the brain that goes through something we call the amygdala.  It’s a very small part of the brain but one that plays a big part in emotional self-control.  It has the ability to highjack you and disconnect what your mouth is saying from your brain.  Some people can feel it coming.  It’s like a tea kettle when it starts to sing.   The ‘tracks’ in the brain that account for that are well-oiled and once that train gets rolling, there’s no turning back.  At least that’s how it feels.  But if you think about it, there is something you can do.  You can predict where that button is, who can push it, and when the short circuit is about to get triggered.  Like anything else, if you can predict it, you can probably prevent it.  Try not blinking.  It focuses the brain on doing something completely different to disengage and distract it from triggering that reaction with your mouth.  It’s also less obvious, requires less effort, and keeps your face from showing what you’re really thinking.  Next time someone or something pushes your buttons – don’t blink.